Good morning. I’m so happy to see you all here today. My name is Tara Galeano. I’m trained as a sex therapist and sexual empowerment coach. I help women listen, know, and love their body so they can receive so much more pleasure and create more intimacy in their lives with themselves and with others. You can follow me here on this Facebook page, Rediscovering My Body, which is named after my book, which came out a couple of years ago now. My book is a guidebook with beautiful pictures and opportunities to journal. I had an amazing illustrator, Cat Yoon, who worked really diligently on creating these pictures with artistic skill. I want to give you a couple of more looks at it. It is an artistic book, a guidebook for you to journal and doodle in. That was show and tell
If you want to actually see this, you can follow me on this Facebook page, Rediscovering My Body. I usually show up Thursdays at 10:00 a.m. You can also follow me on my YouTube page, which is Boulder Sex Therapy, but will soon to be Tara Galeano.
Today I wanted to speak with you about a very powerful topic. I wanted to speak with you about female ejaculation, which I’ve been studying for a number of years. When someone in the past few years asked me about the topic, they mentioned squirting, I was like, what’s? That’s right. I had no idea because what I knew was female ejaculation. I’ve been talking about it for a couple of decades and I had no idea what squirting was because in my experience, it’s not a squirt, it’s like a gush. Semantics, so there’s that. So there’s a squirt. And really, what is it?
We’re going to talk more about what it is, and I want you to learn a little bit more about what it is, where it lives, and maybe, if you’re lucky, how to access it. That’s what I’m aiming for this morning, all in the scope of a ten-minute video. We’ll see how far we get.
What is female ejaculation? Let’s start with what it is not. Female ejaculation is not urine. It comes from the Skene’s gland and it is actually ejaculate. It may contain a little bit of urine in it, but it’s not urine. It has a different viscosity, different smell, and it’s different. Ancient cultures knew about this from India, Iraq, to Egypt, really all over the world. The Celtic world knew, indigenous communities knew about female ejaculate. They would say it is the elixir of life.
This is a real thing and women can access it either by themselves or with a partner. It is a powerful experience. First I want to validate that, yes, female ejaculate is a real thing and some women know it as squirting. You can squirt. It is a true thing. Just like males ejaculate, women can ejaculate, and it is different from urine. What happens when you ejaculate? Well, the ejaculate comes from the Skene’s gland through the urethra and out the body. It comes out when the G Spot is stimulated, which I’ll talk more about in a moment.
It comes out actually in waves of pleasure. It is more of a relaxed experience than one of clenching or willing, which often brings people in, women in the front of their bodies, especially when they’re reaching a clitoral orgasm, they’re leaning into it and wanting to experience that, which is a powerful experience. But it’s one of reaching. And the G Spot experience of coming to female ejaculation is so much about permission. Yes, you can have this experience. Yes, it is good for you. Yes, you do deserve pleasure, and it is one of allowing. It’s not something that you “will” to happen, but that you allow yourself.
You give yourself permission. That’s point number two. Because without that permission, it will never happen. What I often hear is that women who effortlessly ejaculate feel self-conscious, so they stop it. They get embarrassed, they get up, they go to the bathroom, and they try to empty their bladder. Really there’s nothing to empty because it’s not in the bladder. It’s coming again from the Skene’s gland. What do we need to do? Goodness. Have a paradigm shift, right? Where we’re recognizing that that is part of our bodily process and that it’s okay. It’s okay to have a female ejaculation; it’s natural and normal. It’s about relaxing into that experience of juiciness.
Which gets me to the third point, maybe two and a half is that so many women in menopause I’m speaking to you women who have hit 40, 50, 60 and beyond. Right. Because you are my peeps, you’re my women. And what I know is that so many of them want to hit this juiciness. Well, this is the elixir of life. If you can have this experience of female ejaculation, you’ve gotten to the fountain of youth because it actually rejuvenates you. Pleasure rejuvenates you AND female ejaculation rejuvenates you. It feels so good. It is a blissful experience. Who doesn’t want more bliss in their life?
Let’s just put that over there, maybe that’s not a full point. Maybe that’s two and a half like I said because the main point which most people are showing up for is how. How do you access this? Well, not so much because I find that it’s harder to do on yourself. If you have a partner, they can insert their finger in your vagina. If you’re facing them, they can stroke your g spot with a come hither, right? Inserting their finger into your vagina and stroking the front, the anterior wall where the G Spot is located. It feels kind of a little nubby when it gets aroused. The arousal is really critical. This is another myth I want to blow out of the water. That for people in heterosexual couples, penal vaginal sex last from five to seven minutes.
On a linear progression that is short- a short sentence. However, most women don’t get aroused until 20 or 30 minutes. I’d say as we get older, it takes longer. And if you want to really feel into this female ejaculation, it takes longer. I don’t even want to say long. It takes time. Invest in your pleasure. So 20, 40, 60 minutes. Yeah, because you want the women, you want to feel loose. You want to feel blissed out. You want to feel the waves of pleasure as they caress your body. You want to be in the moment. It’s not this short five to seven minute intercourse. It is an experience of pleasure and really resting in that pleasure. If you’re interested in this, it’s a commitment, because you want to be able to follow through with the process of the woman as she receives.
The Female Brain by Luanne Brizendine is a great book. In it, she talks about the amygdala needing to be relaxed because that’s an activated part of our brain where we think about grocery lists, childcare, and all the other logistical pieces that go on in our life that we need to organize that prevents us from relaxing, truly, deeply relaxing, into our being.
Soothing and smoothing need to happen, ideally 24 hours before any sexual contact. Right? It needs to be, I hate to say foreplay, because it needs to be really this lifestyle where you’re connecting in this intentional, conscious way. Foot massages. Yay. Not touch that’s really a demand for intercourse, but touch that is loving, receptive, juicy, and giving. Yes, that is going to help endorse this female ejaculation. A bit about anatomy, the clitoris has legs. She’s got a lot of spots to stimulate that are internal, and most women don’t know, let alone men. This is the vulva. These are the exterior lips, the interior lips, and this is the vagina.
The practice of female ejaculation through Gspot massage is enhanced by a wand or G Spot massager. Where is the G Spot? Well, if you insert this into the vagina, it is up at the anterior wall of the vagina. Right up on top, if you’re facing the vagina. This is what you use for your own self-pleasure for female ejaculation. If you want to learn more, because there’s a whole lot more than just that, right? Because that’s easy. If you want to learn more, I’ve got your back. Because we’re not meant to do this life alone.Truly not. We’re supposed to learn from our elders and learn about healthy, comprehensive sexuality and how to live more fully in that. That’s what I provide on this Facebook Live.
That’s what I provide on my YouTube channel. If you’re called to find out more about my work, I invite you to subscribe to my Body WisdomJournal, which is a free journal that helps you begin to access yourself. That’s where this journey begins. It’s not me telling you a whole bunch of stuff, but you beginning to feel the pleasure of your own body. Your relationship with you is going to lead to increased intimacy, which is going to lead to increased pleasure. Then if you choose, articulate it and share it with another. But it always starts with a relationship with ourselves, and that’s what I do. If you want to know more, check out my Body Wisdom Journal. Have a stellar day.